I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
