The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
