i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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