what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
