East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize