ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
