We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
