I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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