how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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