yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
