I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
