All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
A+ Viking dick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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