why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
