Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
