Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
