I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
