the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
