this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
