Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
