I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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