Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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