You just made me feel so damn special
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
