Pappa wants mamma naked
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Terrible idea I love it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize