I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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