just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize