I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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