I think im going to throw up on grandma
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
