What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
