i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
