He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
