he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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