didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
50% drunk capacity currently
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
