I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
