Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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