I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
