i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
