you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
