Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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