i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
