you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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