You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
