Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
