New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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