Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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