You're completely useless in the revolution.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
