Sry I called you an 8
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I want her autograph on my taint
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
