I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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