the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
