Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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