i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
