lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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