Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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