Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
