His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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