There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
