Do you still have your period?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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