i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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