Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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