youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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