We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
