I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
