you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
