i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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